Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
