i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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