I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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