tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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