As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
