She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
