If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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