boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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