I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
