Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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