Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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