38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
