Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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