I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
