I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Houston, we have a squirter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
