it hurts more in the daytime
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
