Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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