I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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