If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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