I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
