Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
