So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
