what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
