I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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