i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
