I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
