i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
