yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
