my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
