belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
