I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
a search helicopter?!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
