Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
