my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
