used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
