I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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