Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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