I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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