I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My legs feel like baby dolphins
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
