i barfeds in our rink
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
