I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
