I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
