I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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