I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Bring me that man meat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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