and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
