Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
accomplished twins. life is a go
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
