Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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