I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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