Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
