hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
