oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
