dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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