I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My dick has a subreddit
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
