That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
