I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
