Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
