Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
