so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
