that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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