i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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