she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
