I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
