Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
