well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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