loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
