I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
