I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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