Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
