Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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