The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
