She's JV to your varsity
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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