thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
