Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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