No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
