he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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