dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
are you so shy because you have an std?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
