Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
